Online Dating - Meeting Face-to-Face for the First Time

Dating online can be a fun way to meet new people and lots of online dating users find they enjoy the comfort and security of chatting with potential dates from the comfort of their own home. Me and my husband live miles apart but we met on an online dating site more than a year ago We are both strangers and yet that is exactly what we were. I still recall how awkward I felt, the first time I agreed to meet him in person. . During that time we have exchanged emails, text messages, and talked on the phone nearly every day. He knows everything about me and me about him. We shared everyday occurrences and life histories. Finally, after 6 weeks of getting to know one another we met. I was having mixed emotions! I had feelings of joy, excitement,and awkwardness.
I was a nervous wreck that night. I was worried that once we get in front of each other there will be a tremendous “let down” on his part. I worried myself over how I was to greet him. I felt as though we knew each other too well to offer him a simple handshake, but I wasn’t sure that I was up to anything more. Luckily, I had few friends who were with me that night while we were waiting for him at the airport. Think about it. Meeting someone in person you met on a dating site is vastly different than meeting someone in a bar or being introduced through friends. What makes it different is the fact that in case where you meet someone in the public or through a friend your first introduction to them is in person. You know little or nothing about this person until after you meet. We have not formed a strong bond yet. We all have heard stories about people who met favorably online but then were disappointed when they met for the first time in the real world. Sometimes, these stories can even be scary, although the reality is that truly bad experiences have happened to very few people.
Here are some tips and suggestions to ensure a safety first meeting, keep any disappointments to a minimum and help you plan how to achieve best results.

Managing your expectations

1. Make sure that you both really want to meet. If either of you feels reluctant, there is probably a good reason why you should hold off. Some experienced online daters suggest meeting right away to get it out of the way and make sure that the chemistry is there before wasting any more time. Others say wait until you are sure this is someone you want to get involved with. It really does depend on personal preference. If you choose to meet early on, it's a good idea to meet on a casual, friendship basis to ensure there is no pressure to act like a couple when you aren’t ready.The real reason actually in meeting in person is to see if you can continue your online relationship in the "real world".
2. Have a phone conversation, if you haven’t already, before you meet in person. Your first in-person conversation could be really awkward, but if you have already had lengthy conversations on the phone, things may go a whole lot smoother.
3. Discuss your first-meeting expectations before you meet. Talk about how you want to greet each other. Should you hug? Kiss? In my case, he wanted a long kiss but I said our country expects a Filipina to be conservative so we decided on just a smack. Good thing, my husband was so understanding.It’s a good idea to clear that up beforehand so the moment is wonderful instead of uncomfortable. Even with a plan in mind, it can be nerve-wracking to meet for the first time, so don’t expect every moment to be magic. It can be a bit uncomfortable and still turn out great, so go into the meeting with an open mind.Discussing the issue beforehand will ensure there are no hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
4. Plan activities in advance. You don’t want him to pack dress clothes when you plan to take him bike riding. And even more important than proper attire is interest. Bike riding may be your thing, but make sure he is truly interested before setting it up. Pick up on his cues and be flexible. If you are the visiting party, ask questions so that you aren’t the one stuck pedaling in stilettos. If you find yourself on the receiving end of pushy planning, consider it a warning that he could be controlling and inattentive.

Who pays

5. Meet in the middle and go Dutch. There is some debate about who should pay for the trip -- the person visiting or the person hosting the meeting. Generally, going Dutch is the appropriate protocol. Whenever practical, it’s a good idea to meet in the middle for a first meeting. That way you both pay your share of transportation costs getting there, you each make your own arrangements for lodging, if applicable, and you both feel like you have equal say in how you spend your time. But in our case, my husband informed me beforehand that he is the one who will pay with all our hotel,dining and entertainment expenses.
6. Be considerate with each other. Regardless of the plan and who pays for what major expenses, it is always in good taste to treat each other to various things. Budget so you can buy a little gift or souvenirs. Pay for ice-cream or drinks when he pays for the meal. Just try and make things go smoothly. Don’t resist when he offers to pay, making it too much about money. Enjoy being treated and enjoy picking up the tab as well.

Your Presentation

7. Be yourself. The only mistake you can make is misrepresenting yourself. When you finally meet, relax, be yourself and have a good time. Don't expect too much from the date - yes, you may be hoping that it could lead to something wonderful, as your date may be hoping too.
8. Dress to impress. However, it is just as important to dress for the occasion. Keep it casual if you are meeting in a casual environment, dress warm if it’s cold, wear comfortable shoes if you are doing something active and dress to kill if you are meeting for late night cocktails. You want your date to know that you care about attracting him without looking like you are trying too hard.How you look is very important, and you wish to look your best, so decide in advance what you wear to make the best impression.
9. Make sure you smell great. Wear a nice scent, but don’t overdo it. Your scent will leave a lasting impression, but you don’t want to give him a headache. Pack along a bit of dental floss, mouthwash and mints to ensure your mouth is always fresh.
10. Have a plan for breaking the ice. Because your first in-person conversation can feel strange, it may help to have some topics picked out ahead of time. Jot them down and even practice a few one-liners and ice-breakers on your way there.

Romantic ideas

11. Demonstrate your attentiveness. Ask questions of the other person after you have had your say. Be interesting but not domineering. Be polite, and talk about something you know interests the other person.Asking questions is a very good idea, but keep them as impersonal as possible, and of a general nature. You will get also to know the other person in this way. When you are asked questions, try to be honest, as this is not the situation to brag or boast. That will get you nowhere, except rejected. When you do talk, make a point of talking about your date as much as yourself - it's human nature to want to "self-promote", and by asking your date about their everyday life, it shows that you have an interest in them as a person, and not just someone who you may see as a bit of fun. And by letting them talk about themselves, you may just find you have a common interest, which will give you more things to talk about and help the date go well.
12. Discuss sexual relations, but only in a casual manner. This can be long or short term. If you understand the signals the other person is giving to you by their body language, or verbal implication.

Safety

13. Before it’s too late, make sure that the person you are going to meet is who you think he is. Ask him for a video so you aren’t unpleasantly shocked at how he speaks, moves, how tall he is, etc. Most of all, you are making sure he isn’t misrepresenting himself in any way. Even if it’s just giving you a misleading photo, it could be a clue that he isn’t entirely honest about who he is.
14. Send him a little something via snail mail to confirm that he lives where he says he lives. If he never mentions getting your correspondence, it could mean that he doesn’t live where he said he lived and that is a big red flag (or it could mean that he lives with another partner and it has been intercepted). The only good reason might be his own protective measure in not giving out his physical address to someone he's met online.
15. Go Google stalking. Pop his name and any other information (businesses, organizations, etc) into a search engine to confirm details he's given you about his life. He might be married for all you know.
16. Tell a friend who you are meeting, where you are meeting, when you are meeting, and what is the plan for the date and you will call her back.


I made sure I had no expectations for where the relationship would go beyond that meeting, decided to enjoy the experience of meeting someone new for the first time and not worried about what the future might hold.I made up my mind that I would not be disappointed in the person I was meeting, no matter what. If I did not hit it off, there are still the chance we could be friends and if not friends, at least I could have an interesting experience.One of the good things about online dating is it lets you get to know a person gradually, and this helps build confidence for when you do meet. And that's important - after all, everyone is just as special as each other, and by knowing that and seeing someone else acknowledge that too, you may just find that you and your online date have more in common in the offline world, and take that into a wonderful future together. The first time we met? Hmm...Like everything around us stands still and the air thickens. We are alone even in a room full of people.It is the most incredible experience I will ever have.No other feeling in the world comes close to it. It's as if whatever I was searching for is over. I felt completely fulfilled and at peace. I am not sure if anyone out there has ever had pre-cognitive dreams but I also dreamt of this person several times before I met him. I could only see his figure and I would recap it saying, "I always dream of this man but I don't know who he is..." Well I know now! I am married to him! Woo hoo!

•☆.•*´¨`*••♥ Good Vibes Everyone! ♥••*´¨`*•.☆•

Thoughts?

What did you feel when you met your soul mate for the first time? How did you stay safe? What is the best first date that you did? What did you talk about? How did you make your first meeting a great one?

Color Blocking 101

Hi Everyone! Color blocking is a great trend for Spring and Summer. I learned to color block using the color wheel. Prepare to add a burst of fun and bold daring colors into your wardrobe. But only if you know how to do the color blocking right! Alright ladies, so I’ve mentioned the terms “color blocking” and “color wheel”. Color blocking is a term that has been used in fashion means mixing and matching blocks of solid colors worn together and color wheel is a circle of colors arranged according to their chromatic relationship and used as a guide in mixing and color design decisions.
Before you can use a color wheel you must understand primary colors, hues, secondary colors, tertiary colors and complementary colors. First we have our primary colors: red, yellow and blue. These are the only three colors that cannot be made by mixing other colors. All other colors are hues of these three colors. The mixture of primary colors into various combinations creates secondary colors: green, purple and orange. If we keep mixing, our end result will be tertiary colors (orange-yellow, red-orange, violet-red, yellow-green & blue-green). There are also tints and shades: tints are mixed with white while shades are mixed with black.

Here are some color blocking techniques and some fantastic tips for how to make color blocked layouts quickly and easily!
1. Analogous colors- are three colors lined up on the color wheel (e.g. violet, violet-red & red).
2. Complementary colors- are directly opposite one another on the wheel (e.g. yellow & violet).
3. Colors that form right (90 degree) angles with each other- (i.e. yellow and red-orange; blue and violet-red; green and orange, etc.)
4. Colors that form a T- (i.e. blue, orange, and violet-red; yellow, violet, and red-orange; yellow, blue-green, and red-orange, etc.)
5. Colors that form an X - (i.e. blue, orange, violet-red, and yellow, violet, blue-green, and red-orange, etc.)
6. Color-families- You can substitute pink (tint) with red and still be able to pull off the combos based on the color wheel.
Since brown is a neutral, it will go with virtually any color on the color wheel. Of course white, black, and the hues of blue found in denim are also neutrals that go with just about anything. You can also use the color wheel when coming up with color combinations for your makeup. It can help you decide which makeup color to wear so that you don’t match your eyeshadow with your outfit.

So try it out, let me know how it worked out for you and send me some pics of you color blocking your life away!

•☆.•*´¨`*••♥ Good Vibes Everyone! ♥••*´¨`*•.☆•

Thoughts?

Are you a fan of color blocking? Do you think you only look good in certain colors based on skin tone or body type? How will you use color blocking in your wardrobe? Will you try to add more color in your wardrobe in the future? Let me know what you think!

My Everything

Hi everyone!

I made this compilation photo video of my husband because I love and admire him so much. This video was done as a gift for him. Anyway, thanks for watching!

Visa Taking Forever! What’s Going On?

Guys, it's almost August once again! We're past the 7-month mark now and we still don't know what we can expect from the status of our visa. This is already a burden to me and especially to my dear husband! It seems like everything they require will expire before I even got the visa. Every time they require something, they wait for one month to ask for the next thing. It sure seems to take a toll on our nerves. I am almost going nutty with the wait! Anyway, we are still waiting for their reply once they get hold of the documents before forwarding it to the Manila Embassy. We filed last November of 2010 and still waiting.
I will be sharing you some information and tips on how to save time and $$$ in case you are about to file a visa or still in the early process of filing. We did the IR/CR -1 (Immediate Relative/Conditional Resident) Visa. Since we are not yet 2 years from the time we got married, that makes me under the CR-1 Visa.

Birth Certificate- It is an advantage if you have extra copies of your birth certificate certified by the National Statistics Office. You may apply in person in any NSO office or have it delivered to you thru their online website. But since I don't like the long queues and I was often at the mall when I was in Manila last year, I got my copies thru SM Business Center in Mall of Asia or any branch. It's like working with the papers as we shop! You just simply need to sign the forms, make the payments, and then come back after a few days. For a P160 pesos per copy and 5 business days of waiting you can already obtain the documents without standing all day long in NSO offices. I had more than 6 copies of this document since I had to send few copies for my husband. You will also need to submit one of each when you apply for a new passport, CFO seminar, etc. By the way, you will also need an original or original certified copy of your husband's birth certificate that you will need during the interview.

Marriage Certificate- same with the Birth certificate, I got mine thru SM Business Center. I also made sure that I made extra copies because they will really ask for a copy every time you need to apply for a new identification card and you want now to use your married name like PRC, SSS, Passport, etc.

Cenomar- I had two copies of the Certificate of No Marriage before I got married here in the Philippines. We had to submit a copy at the Local Civil Registrar when we filed for the marriage license. But I read in the VJ site that some Consular Officer will ask you to still show this even when you are already married and you brought with you your Marriage Certificate. I am not sure the reason/s behind but I think they want to make sure that you were really single before you married your foreign husband.

NBI Clearance- I really believe you need two copies of this document. One is for your husband so he can send it to the National Visa Center when they are already asking for the original documents. And two, at the interview before you can get inside the building the guards will ask you to present a valid NBI Clearance together with other documents. Be sure that your NBI clearances are still valid or still not almost to expire.

Tax Records- You may do this ahead of time while waiting for the approval from the USCIS. This is one of the causes of the delay in our case. The legal assistants did not ask us to prepare while we were just in the waiting period. Your husband should get the latest 3 years tax transcripts and W2's if possible. My in-laws are my co-sponsors because my hubby was not earning enough not until last year. We also asked the tax records of my in-laws which took weeks before the Bureau of Tax sent it. Don't forget that if you have a co-sponsor, you will also need their birth certificates. They want to make sure that the sponsors are religiously paying their taxes.

Employment Letter/Certification-Remind your husband (and co-sponsor) to request from their company's Human Resources Department for an Employment Certification. It should include the name of your husband, title, date of employment and current salary (if salary is hourly, include the number of hours worked per week) signed by an officer of the company using the company's letterhead.

The days are going by so slow… the wait is unbearable. The unbearable part of it all is it could come any day now until whenever! So close yet so far. All I think about is this. I didn't expect the wait to be so difficult! I wish I can get over this stage this year. But I am willing to wait; it will be worth it because I know my husband is waiting for me at the other side of this planet. Oh well, I am still trying to be positive. Fingers crossed indeed!

Do You Need a Massage?

I just got home from having a massage. This is the third time I had massage in my lifetime. First one was with a college friend when I was in Manila last 2010. The first time that I got to be naked and felt really awkward seeing different girls naked while they were walking around an enclosed jacuzzi,sauna, or the shower area. I had my undies on because I have no guts to really flaunt everything. Second one was with my dear husband because he got a little bit scared to be left alone in a dark room half naked with a masseuse...Aww,Isn't that cute? The recent one today was with with my niece. She really needed a full body massage because she is under stress with the upcoming nursing licensure exam.
I had relatively moderate expectations today since me and my husband went to that same massage spa. Once I got inside the massage room, the lady told me to take off my clothes and wear the adjustable shorts that is being provided. Then I was seated and I had to wait a few minutes after changing until the masseuse put my feet inside a wooden steam foot barrel and covered it with a towel. They say the foot is like the root of a tree, connecting to every basic element in our body. However,it has long been ignored as people only focused on other parts of the body such as facial treatment, medical therapy even plastic surgery and you have just improved your appearance and it will not last long. But foot massage removes fatigue,replenish oxygen and energy,reduces stress,promotes better sleep, increase blood circulation and immunity.

I was asked to position by lying on my back and she started to massage my head, next my arms and legs. Then I laid on my stomach and she was doing my back. Towards the end of my massage session, she used tapotement, vibration and nerve stroke movements. I just wished during the body massage the largest amount of time is devoted to my back and shoulders which she failed to do, partly because my back represents a large part of my body, and partly because this is a very common place for people like me to accumulate tension. But to be fair, I experienced relaxation and rejuvenation in body, mind & I guess also with my spirit. They say weekly massage will make you look and feel years younger. So why not invest in yourself and in your health. It is more than just a luxurious way to relax. It is like having a mini vacation for an hour or two! :)

Relaxing after the massage session.


Tapotement-a massage technique that uses the edge of the hands, a cupped hands or the tips of the fingers to stimulate the back & the shoulder.

Have you had a massage lately? Do you know what massage will do for you? How does it feel during the session? How often do you get a massage?

For the Love of Story (and the Story of Love)

This is a story about love. A story about promises, uncertainty, happiness, distance, tenderness, intimacy, excitement, passion. A story about most definitely a Michigan boy meets a Mindanao girl.

My husband's version:

"After being divorced for about a year I had a lonely feeling and decided to start looking on the internet. I had tried many dating sites. The local dating sites did not bring anyone of interest to me. So I tried international sites. I started looking all over the world. As I was searching I had some concerns. How would I communicate with her? Most do not even speak my language. That would put a big strain on the relationship from the start. Then I learned that ladies from the Philippines speak English. I had found filipinaheart.com, and paid for a membership. I quickly learned that it is easy to lie and be deceived on the internet. This was a shock to me because I thought that being on a dating site meant your looking for love. I was very wrong. So I had to learn to become a detective to determine if the lady I was talking to was serious or only looking for a hand out. This took a while to perfect my technique. After being played and lied to for over a year by many girls and even one time offered $10,000 to marry one. I was about to give up my search.
Then in February 2010 one of my online friends said she knows a serious lady and she is a friends of hers. I said ok introduce us please. Right away I could tell she was different, and that she was looking for real love. She passed every test I gave her. Christine was quiet but she seemed to open up to me and we had an immediate connection.As we talked I knew had to meet her in person. As I was waiting for my flight we would talk and on yahoo, skype, and call her as much as I could. i started to develop feelings for her and we talked about family values and what we wanted out of life and what we expected in a marriage with a foreign spouse.
After landing in Manila on March 15th about 1030 PM and waiting over an hour in the immigration line gathering my bags and going through customs. I go outside of the airport. There was no one there. Only a few taxi drivers. I thought that Christine had not shown up to meet me. My heart dropped. Then I seen someone walk across the road and walk down a ramp. So I followed. I was amazed at how many people there was. I thought I would not be able to find her. As I was trying to make my way through the crowd of people a man walks up to me and ask me if I am Larry. I was shocked that he knew my name. I replied yes I am Larry. The man said Christine is waiting for you let me take you to her. My heart was lifted again. We make our way across one more road and half way across I seen Christine lean and look around a tall man. Then our eyes met and both of our faces light up. She meets me at the curb and takes my hand then pulls me down and gives me a quick kiss. Right then I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She introduces me to her friends that were waiting with her.
We spent the night in her small apartment in Taguig City. Laying on her bed and brushing her hair over her ear I asked her to marry me. Christine said yes to my delight. When we woke up we went to the embassy and gathered the need papers to marry. And purchased the tickets to fly to Zamboanga where I will meet her and stay with her family. They welcomed me with open arms and I felt as I was part of the family already. On March 17th we started to gather the need documents for us to marry. And as I spent my time with her family we became closer and closer. We spent most of our time as if we are already married and had family trips to the beach. Then the day finial arrived March 30th. I asked her one last time are you sure about this? We will be together for the rest of our lives. And again to my delight Christine said yes. That day we were married at the court house and had a nice reception at a resort. But my time was almost over and I had to come home. As I was about to come go into the airport I seen my beautiful bride crying and that made my heart break.
Now that I am back home working as much overtime as I can and spending time chatting with her on the internet. I realize that I made the right choice by marring Christine. Now we cannot wait until we are reunited here and be able to start our lives together."

I know that many people have their own story of love too. It's a great feeling to belong to a story and make a love life my own love story.

What's Cooking?

When me and my husband were tired of the usual take out foods, I had prawns in mind for that night. Besides, I have not cooked a real dish in years so maybe this is the time I can impress everyone...especially my husband. So menu for that night was...Prawns con salsa Alavar. They say the cheapest prawns or seafoods in general can be found in Zamboanga, my hometown in the southern part of the Philippines. I also used the amazing Alavar sauce which is said to be made of coconut milk, crab roe and secret spices. My husband is not really fond of sea foods might be because it's pricey to have it on the menu during an ordinary day, I mean something you might want to have only during holidays. So here is the recipe and promise you it is just so simple. No need of magic wand or to be pro in the kitchen.

Here is my version of the Prawns con salsa Alavar.

• 1 kilo of fresh prawns (thaw if frozen)
• 500 grams of Alavar sauce, depends on how much you like but I like to make
more because it taste good on top of my rice and as a dipping sauce
• 6 cloves of garlic, chopped
• 1-1 1/2 inch of ginger, peeled and sliced
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• vegetable oil

-Wash the prawns and leave them in a colander to drain.
-In a large wok or kawali, heat the oil then combine garlic, onion and ginger. Saute until onion is translucent.
-Stir in the alavar sauce and simmer for a few minutes or if sauce has fully melted.
-Add the prawns, let them heat through.
-Remove from heat then serve with rice.

I highly recommend this recipe which I had last month. The large pieces of prawns were cooked to sweet perfection and doused in sinful sauce. And the rice was steamed just right, which added to the delightfulness of the dish.